How can I explain how my experience was when you ask me? I have been responding by saying amazing (because it was), but not in the amazing vacation realm that your mind might first assume. It was amazingly enlightening, eye opening and difficult to comprehend all at the same time. The type of amazing that you may never understand. You are amazed by my account of shark diving and the safari. I love to tell the stories, but to be honest I do not really care about those stories.
I don’t make these comments in a defensive tone but rather in a personally reflective tone about how I have been feeling from others asking how my experience was. So, what do I say when you don’t ask me the hard questions? How do I explain what I learned without overwhelming you with a culture that you may know nothing about? How do I explain that I now understand why some people have to sell their bodies to feed their families and no longer negatively judge them? How do I explain that I no longer like to indulge in things that I did before I left? How do I explain that I have overwhelming feelings of guilt for things that I have in my life? How do I explain that whatever you may complain about to me is really not a big deal? How do I explain to you that I no longer want to have another shallow conversation? How do I explain to you that since I left South Africa, I feel like something is missing? The only ones who may know the hard questions to ask or the ones that I am able to explain things too are the ones who were there beside me.