Food Parcel Distribution Day – “Enkosi"

Tuesday, May 31^st

Today was food parcel distribution day, a day that has been built up for quite awhile.  For all of the money that we have raised, 250 families will be given enough food for a month.  The process began with a human chain for unloading the trucks and packed the food goods into sacks.  One food parcel consists of flour, sugar, maize, beans, rice, vegetable oil, chicken and samp.  We would gather the items in a stacked pile and make rows throughout the floor of the church.  People wait in the JL Zwane center all around in hopes for their name to be called.  Since the amount of people that needs and wants food is so high, a list is made for each food parcel distribution on who will receive the food.  The recipients are chosen based on a system that visits the home and sees how in need the family is.

Aaron gave us a task for the day to get to know at least one persons story that is receiving a food parcel.  We were in charge of carrying out people’s food parcel items with church volunteers, so we knew we would get a chance to hear a few stories.  Reverend Spiwo began to call the names after introducing and thanking our group for our contributions to make the food parcels possible for this day.

As names were called, I would follow people out of the church carrying all that I could hold.  At first, I felt awkward and slightly invasive asking about their life or whom all of the food was feeding because I did not know if they would feel ashamed for getting the aid of a food parcel.  It soon became very apparent to me that my fears were not valid and instead the recipients were more than willing to engage in conversation.  Most of them would constantly thank me for the food by saying "Enkosi" (means thank you in Xhosa) and tell me how much it would help them and their family.  I was hugged by numerous strangers and even called an angel at one point.  I couldn’t believe that what I viewed as a small amount of food (that I myself would have no idea to know how to make a meal out of) could be such a saving grace for so many families.

Some of the stories that people shared with me told of how their parents or main care providers had passed away and now they were caring for themselves and the children of the family.  Some stories told of how they know lived alone because all of their loved ones had passed away earlier in life.  Some of their stories were of their loved ones who were HIV positive and no longer able to care for themselves, so most of their money went to pay for ARV drugs.  Whichever story it was, most of the stories made me get a sick feeling in my stomach.  A feeling like something is not right and what more can I do to help.

   

In order to counteract this sinking feeling in my stomach, I revisited something that was said to us earlier that morning by Fundiswa, one of our main leaders during the week.  Fundi said, “The aim is not to feel guilt and hopeless, it is to show them that someone cares”.  In this moment of handing out food parcels, it was not my job to feel bad or selfish.  In this moment it was not about organizing another food parcel distribution.  The moment was about showing the families that someone cares.  So today I showed 250 families that I care.  It by far could go down as one of my proudest moments in life.

HUGE THANKS TO ALL WHO DONATED MONEY FOR THE FOOD PARCELS!  You made a difference to a lot of people.

Mama Noxie

Mama Noxie, as Chelsey, Megan and I referred to her as, was a very welcoming woman that made us instantly feel like her children from day one.  Noxie’s home was very accommodating.  The bathroom was inside and our room had a TV in it.  Noxie became comfort for me and was always a bright face to see.  We spent most of our time with her during our car rides to JL Zwane (where we would listen to Mama Noxie’s rap music) and after group dinners each night.  We asked Noxie to tell us her story and she gladly shared with us the story of her life.  She grew up in her current home with her parents.  Her father passed away in 1998 and her mother passed away in 2001.  Her seventeen-year-old son was murdered in 2003.  At first, Chelsey, Megan and I were too uncomfortable and scared to ask Noxie for more details about the story of her son. 

The last night we got the courage to ask Noxie to share with us what she felt comfortable sharing, regarding her son’s murder.  Noxie explained that her son was killed over a miscommunication of a cell phone robbery.  Someone who had the same name as her son, stole a cell phone and got away.  Soon some people came looking for the robber, but were directed to her son.  When they found her son, he innocently identified himself as they asked.  Her son was then taken by the men and beat to death. 

They found out immediately after that they had the wrong person and turned themselves into the police.  The police arrived at Noxies door and asked if she wanted to press charges.  She explained that she didn’t want to press charges due to the mistake and that God would take care of them.  She then explained how she had never felt so alone, but learned the meaning of real friends during that time of loneliness and confusion.  The scene of her son’s murder is right next to her place of work, which made it hard for her to pass by and attend work, but she explained that she needed to do something otherwise she would continue to think about it.

I sat there speechless and unable to react.  I cannot imagine a mother having to lose their child over a stupid material thing and a miscommunication.  Noxie’s story really helped highlight the violence and misunderstandings that happen in the townships on a daily basis.  Since the time of apartheid, violence has been a natural act committed against black Africans, coloured and white people.  That violence has translated into everyday life when dealing with conflict.

More than anything, I was saddened as Noxie continued to say that she would miss us staying with her, since Akhona is leaving soon also.  She doesn’t like to be staying at home all by herself.  It made me almost break into tears as I tried to imagine that being my mom.  I would hate for her to ever feel so alone inside.  The bright side of this feeling of Noxie’s is that she has an amazing community of friends that help her feel fulfilled and whole.  Noxie was a great Mama and I will never forget how she opened her home and her heart to us.

Akhona

This morning I had my first cry in Gugs as we were reflecting on our first night in our homestays.  Chelsey, Megan and I are staying with Noxie, her nephew, and Akhona.  I cried as I told the story of Akhona, a girl my age who bravely shared her story with us.  She is originally from the small rural town of George, which is around four hours north of Cape Town.  Akhona is involved in the program, “These Numbers Have Faces”, which covers her university fees in order to obtain her degree.  In return for free tuition the program asks for 1% of the graduates income to go back to the program and requires community service from the scholarship recipient.  Akhona explained that next week she would be participating in a mentor program, where she would mentor an under privileged South African child.  She said, “I’m excited to give them hope because I am so fortunate”.  Her words rang so loudly in my mind, “I AM SO FORTUNATE”. 

She had just told her story of her mother and grandmother passing away around two months ago and now having the responsibility of being the main source of income for her family.  Akhona would work almost everyday of the week at a restaurant saving and using up her money for tuition to attend the university.  When her mother passed away she could no longer work or afford school, until the program helped her.  She recently came to live with Noxie in order to be closer to the University during exams.  She hasn’t seen her family in George in a long time and stays in Gugs studying all day.  I admired her positivity, but my first instinct was to feel selfish.  I’m given my needs and wants on a daily basis.  I’ve never lost a parent and attending a university was something expected in my lifestyle.  I’m fortunate, but forget to remind myself of my blessings and opportunities on a daily basis like Akhona.

There is a lot to learn from those less fortunate, who proudly recognize their blessings.  It is humbling and life changing.  Today I stopped looking through my American lens and was thankful for all I had already been given in Gugs:  a warm bed, safe home, and most importantly: a new view on life.

Akhona and I became very close throughout my time in Gugs.  She was truly an inspiration and a great friend to have during my time there.

Rainbow After School Program

Monday, May 30th

The first day of tutoring the children was a really interesting and exhausting time.  The Rainbow After School Program is a program implemented by JL Zwane to help children excel in school.  It provides the children a meal after school and classroom space with a teacher to assist them on homework and teach them new material.  For some of the children it may be there only meal for the day, so getting to be part of the program helps on numerous levels.  The children were very shy at first, as was I.  I began to help a small group of children with a worksheet on telling time.  I realized how much I love the feeling when I explain something and you can see the light bulb in the child’s mind as they continue to work.  It made me realize that at one point in my life I would love to teach a class or coach children.

As the children began to become more comfortable with me, the words began to fly.  My favorite student was a young boy that entertained me most of the remainder of the class time with extremely detailed stories of superheroes.  He was so elaborate and enthusiastic that it became hilarious and made me wonder if he had ADHD at the same time.  He said something while describing his favorite superhero that I thought was telling of the circumstances that he was raised under, “I don’t like him because he fights, I like him the most because he saves people”.  I imagined this little boy sitting in his home, escaping the problems of Guguletu by superheros and smiled.

I continued to see these children throughout the week where they developed a passion for taking pictures of themselves on my digital camera and would greet me by screaming, “ALEX” and a huge hug.  These kids were amazing and I wish I had more time to spend time with them.

Come In Right

Monday, May 30th

Today it sank in.  I’m here.  I see it.  Now what do I do?  I feel helpless seeing all of this poverty and pain without being able to fix it all.  I’m guessing it relates to, ‘Coming In Right’.  As I reread the chapter, “You’ve Got to Come In Right” in Kevin Winge’s book, Never Give Up, I am reminded that my experience here is not about fixing things, or viewing things through an American lens.  Instead, it is about understanding, patience and compassion.  I wrote Kevin’s advice on the back of my notebook so I can remind myself constantly to come in right with all of the experiences in Guguletu.  The advice is as follows:

·      Listen more than you speak.

·      Ask more than you tell.

·      Behave like a guest in your boss’s home.

·      Resist the temptation to fix things; you might not have the tools to do so, & the thing might not be broken in the first place.

·      Cast off your American lens & look at the world through different eyes.

·      Don’t look for simple answers for complex problems.

·      Don’t implement complex solutions for simple problems.

·      Live with your experiences.

·      If moved to act, ask what is needed.  Don’t assume you know.

·      Be willing to make a leap of faith.

One of my first thoughts was, “people should not have to live like this”.  But, who am I to judge how those in the townships live?  They seem to exhibit more community than I’ve experienced in the states, as well as more hope.  Yes, living conditions could be improved, but my perspective of what is needed is most likely different than what the citizens of Gugs would classify as needs.  The main question I struggle with is, “Now What?” What will I do with this knowledge, this experience?  To be continued….

Gugs Journal

My stay in Guguletu has come to an end.  I still have mixed emotions.  I’ve created some amazing relationships, seen things hard to describe in words and feel like part of a community that I never thought I would.  In order to give you a better understanding of the emotional rollercoaster that happened this past week I am typing my journal entries from the week so it better describes how I felt in the moment.  So please read with an open mind and open heart in order to understand what I am about to share.  I'm posting most of my experiences in order of days and some separate blogs for people personal stories that made an impact on me.

JL Zwane Welcoming

Sunday, May 29^th

Our stay in Guguletu began with a visit to JL Zwane Church for Sunday’s church service.  We arrived early and were greeted with large smiles and our first dose of Xhosa conversations.  The service was like nothing I have ever experienced.  I’ve never felt a strong bond to any church or Sunday service in my life, but this service was inspirational.  The reverend, SpiwoXapile, said something that I found to be very comforting, “Most churches are always telling you, and never listening”.  I found this to ring true to many church services that I have attended and found it encouraging that JL Zwane is taking the progressive step to listen to the congregation and what it needs.  The first step it has taken to make this effort to listen is to become an advocate for the HIV and AIDS pandemic and patients.  The front counsel that the reverend preached from read, “JL Zwane Cares”, with a red HIV/AIDS ribbon symbol below. 

Another inspirational moment of the service was the soulful music that seemed to fill a lot of time in the service.  The entire congregation sang along with passion and got into the middle of the aisles and danced with neighbors and friends.  Brian, Shane, and I were pulled into the aisle to dance with a woman who was sitting by us., while Megan was holding a baby from the woman next to her and dancing as well.  It was a moving moment for most in the group because the feeling of togetherness and joy was overwhelming throughout the entire service.  The service was a mixture of Xhosa and English to make everyone feel included as well.  I hope to attend another service before the end of our time here.

The Wise Words of Madiba

Aaron this is my In-Country assignment 1 :)  Enjoy!

This week has gone by so fast that it is hard to comprehend and reflect on everything that I have experienced.  Even when breaking it into smaller pieces, actually putting how I feel and what I have taken away from this experience in words is difficult.  As we spoke during dinner tonight, Aaron reminded me that reflections from this experience will continue to come even months from now.  With this insight in mind, I will continue to be aware and reflective even after our in-country writing assignments and blogs are over and try to process and share now what I have learned thus far.

“I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds there are many more hills to climb”.  –Nelson Mandela

I saw this quote during our visit to Iziko Slave Musuem this past week.  I have always viewed Nelson Mandela as an inspirational leader, but actually being in the country where he made such a difference has resulted in viewing him and his accomplishments in a much closer and sentimental lens.  From becoming South Africa’s first black president in 1994, he made huge changes within the country during his term, but from this quote it shows that Mandela realized that more changes would still need to be made.   From my time here thus far, it is apparent that many hills have yet to be climbed and many changes yet to be made in South Africa.  This idea of climbing smaller hills ties into a main concept that I have witnessed this past week; which is the process of building community.  From all of the lectures this week, which focused on South Africa’s history, I observed that South Africa is still engaged in the process of building community within the country.  Whether it is rebuilding the community of District Six or regaining trust in the government, remnants and distrust associated with apartheid are still very apparent within South Africa. 

Alan shared his own experiences with apartheid during lecture this week, which were extremely moving.  For example, the first time Alan visited a restaurant was at the age of 26.  Even when he was a child he had to move schools and could not enjoy any of the recreational activities he grew up with in his familiar neighborhood areas due to the Separate Amenities Act of 1953.  His was unable to further his education due to his skin color and faced opposition on a daily basis.  From the apartheid’s extreme power to divide and destruct communities, it gave a lot room for these communities to start the process of rebuilding.  The entire community of South Africa was given a chance to begin the process of community building under the new leadership of Mandela and the creation of the new South African flag.  Alan expressed how the present South African flag represents unity, new beginnings and pride for the country of South Africa and its people.  I found this story of the South African flag inspiring, since I personally do not have a similar connection to the American flag.  It was moving to see Alan talk about the South African flag in such a passionate way and how to him and his people it virtually meant freedom from the past and a look into a new future.

I began to reflect on how I would describe the American flag to Alan and other South Africans, and drew a blank.  Yes, I understand what the flag stands for, but I do not believe I would be able to present it with as much passion and enthusiasm as Alan.  It made me wonder if this lack of passion was due to the fact that I was born into freedom and never witnessed the sacrifices being made when the flag was created, like Alan did in South Africa.  I realize that I take for granted the freedoms I am given each day, such as education, freedom of speech and more.  My generation has grown up accustomed to having freedom and though some in my generation still defend that freedom through their service. The threat of losing freedom or non-existent freedom has never been tangible like it was in South Africa.

So what comes next for this community rebuilding in South Africa?  There are many options and many more hills to climb.  If each following South African generation can learn to have the passion and unity about the flag like Alan, I believe it will help them harness feelings of pride for their country in years to come.  The upcoming generations of South Africa will be born into a situation more similar to my generation, with freedoms given to them as a birthright.  I myself plan on taking the step forward to see how I can create more of a connection to the American flag and become more thankful for the freedoms that I take advantage of each day.